Toejam – The quicker one of the two players. Toejam is a three footed alien who moves a lot faster than his buddy, Earl. However, Toejam doesn’t have quite as much health as his abundant buddy, Earl.
Earl – Earl is the bigger of the two aliens. He’s got a good amount of health more than his buddy, Toejam – but his bigger size makes him a slow mover. He can’t always out run the things that chase him, but he sure can take a lot more hits.
Laytisha – In Toejam and Earl III, she joins and she’s fiesty and stands up for herself! She’s quite effective against those bothersome earthlings!
The Good
Santa Claus – There’s a trick to Santa Claus, here. We all know Santa doesn’t like to leave presents if we know he’s there. So the trick is, you have to sneak up on Santa Claus. If you can get fairly close to him, you will startle him enough so he will leave you presents.
Lemonaid Stand Kid – This kid is hard to find. You could say there’s a trick to finding him. However, when you find him, he’s a pretty cool kid. You see, if you get lemonaid from him it will help your health – and help it nicely!
The Wise Carrot – The Wise Carrot is a good guy to find. Some presents and what they are will not be immediately known. They will have the dreaded question marks next to them. Some presents just shouldn’t be opened. The Wise Carrot is kind enough to tell you what presents are what – for a price.
The Mailbox – This is a tricky one. Throughout the levels you will find Mailboxes. You can put some money away and immediately get a present from a send away. But in later levels, not all the mailboxes are what they seem. Some mailboxes are actually alive and quite evil! So beware – you can usually spot them because while they’re sitting there, eyes will open and look around.
Telephone – Much like the Mailbox, the telephone is a good thing. You will hear it ringing if you’re near it. If you pick up the phone it will remove some of the tile pieces of the map that remain covered, so you can see where you’re headed.
The Viking Woman – She’s a good one to find, especially if you find yourself being chased down. For a price she will sing for you and immediately destroy any bad things that are on the screen.
The Bad (and there’s plenty of it…)
Cupid – He’s more of an annoyance than he is “bad.” Cupid flies around as a little angel with his bow of love. If his arrows strike you, it places you in a state of “love” completely messing with your sense of direction. However, figure out the controls (after he’s confused you) and you can escape, or else he’s liable to keep plucking those annoying arrows at you.
The Mole – Another one who is more of a pain than he is evil. The mole can easily be spotted digging under ground. What the mole does is dig until he gets right under you then grabs your legs, shakes you, and rattles the presents from you… then he makes off with the presents. So beware or else you are liable to lose any and/or all the presents you have in your possession of the mole comes knocking on your door.
Tornado – Perhaps the biggest annoyance of all. The tornado will appear and try to capture you within its funnel… then it picks you up, leaving you trapped within, spinning out of control… then the tornado moves about the map, whether on the land, over the water, and even off the edge… then the tornado will randomly stop, dropping you where ever it is at… and the worse usually is, it drops you right off the ledge, making you fall to the next level down.
Hula Girls – Another annoyance. The Hula Girls are pretty much harmless other than the fact that if you get too close you begin dancing, and can’t move for a bit. This could be bad if something not so friendly is following you around.
Sharks – They’re not in every level, but the higher you go up, the greater the chance they’re going to be around. However, there isn’t too much to worry about. Typically if there is a shark in the water and you dive in, you hear the eerie “shark music” that lets you know you could be in a world of trouble if you land in their “jaws.”
Dentist – This guy is evil. No doubt about it. Right down to the core. This freaky, long legged man in a white trench will chase you around with that cursed needle. If he hits you, he stops to let out this completely insane laugh!
The Nerd Pack – This band of geeks travels in a herd (the Nerd Herd). They get excited over anything (new pocket protectors, and stuff like that) and will run you over if you’re in the way, so it’s best to stay clear of these freaks!
The Lawnmower Man – He’s bad… and looking at his attitude you can tell! He will push his lawnmower right over you and keep doing it if you don’t get out of the way. He isn’t entirely too fast so you can outrun him…
Bogeyman – This guy is stealthy! He will walk around invisible (or almost invisible) and try to sneak up on you and try to scare you. Everytime he scares you, he scares the the life out of you (literally)! So watch out for this guy!
Devils – Despite their wicked smile, these guys aren’t your friends. They want nothing more than to shove their pitchforks right into your rear end. They bounce from foot to foot and chase you around, and are perhaps the slowest of the monsters!
Hamster in Ball – This giant hamster in the play ball is annoying… but extremely slow. The rolling ball covers a good chunk of area, but thankfully the hamster moves entirely too slow to be too much of a threat.
Bees – What makes these critters such a pain is – they can fly. Land, water, the other things you could normally use to ditch something chasing you doesn’t apply to these bees. So be careful!
Flocks of Geese – These army geese are completely loaded with a cannon that fires tomatos. These guys have a pretty good distance attack so be wary!
Shopping Woman – Watch out for her and her crying kid. The kid won’t stop crying so she is pretty upset, and has no problem running you over. She only stops if the kid stops crying.
Ice Cream Truck – This mysterious vehile will suddenly appear out of nowhere. You usually hear a honking horn, then the ice cream truck suddenly appears trying to run anything and everything over!!!
Man Naked In A Box – Here’s that annoying guy that has a pretty bad habit of chasing you around, and knocking you off where you’re standing! Get away from this freak as soon as you can! He’s nothing but trouble!
Fat Lady With Poodles – Well, stay clear of her! She’s got an army of poodles! But deadly poodles! What? You don’t believe me! Trust me, I wouldn’t lie here! She sicks them on you, and if they bite, they have a nastey bite!
Little Innocent Girl – Innocent?! Hardly! If you get in this little girl’s way, get ready to find a not so cool boot to your rump!
Little Innocent Boy – Innocent again?!? Not hardly! He’s the one that thinks he’s being funny by yelling, “Hey Catch!” Then throwing a tomato at you!
Fairy – Aren’t these supposed to be nice little critters?! Well hardly! These little fairies fly around and drop fairy dust on your head causing you to go into laughing hysterics!
Jack Hammer – Jack Hammer is his name, and that’s his game! He runs around with a Jack Hammer causing the ground – and you – to shake, making it hard to move!
Tourists – Who needs’em? Well they’re everywhere! And they are loaded with cameras that have an extremely bright flash on them! Be careful because they can cause you to be stunned by the flashing blindness!
Ducks – It’s time for war and these Ducks mean business! Equipped with helms and cannons, these ducks mean to take you down before being captured or beaten! Be careful! In TJ&E2, these baddies fly around trying to take you down!
The Cow Ghost – Don’t know what happened to this cow in the previous life, but if he gets inside of you – well, he will force you to think you’re… well, a Cow!
Boy in a Balloon – This is the kid that floats around in his precious little balloon spitting spit wads at you! (Must be related to that annoying kid who throws tomatos! Where’s the respect in the youth these days?)
Cheerleaders – Watch out for them! The only cheer they have is “Rah! Rah! Rah! Kick’em in the shin!”
